Good, Bad and the Solution

The Good Stuff

1. I have played strictly within my bankroll so far this year.
2. I have improved my bankroll from $200 to $472
3. I am playing very confidently, and feel good about my game.
4. I have a couple of big tokens for the S.C.O.O.P

The Bad Stuff

1. I haven't really settled on the best way to build my bankroll.
2. I am playing a combination of sit'n'gos, rush poker and normal cash poker.
3. I am not as good at playing cash as I am sit'n'go's - but rush poker enables me to play so many more hands.
4. Yesterday rush poker sent me on a little bit of tilt after losing a couple of big hands whilst ahead when all-in. Ended up calling a short stack whilst holding QQ on a Kxx board for half a buy-in when it was pretty obvious he had called in the big blind with Kx (actually K3).

The solution

Get back to the original plan.
Stick to sit'n'gos, and set myself some weekly targets.

Target for this week (starting monday).
Play 300 $3.80 sit'n'go's on Full Tilt, and continue to meet my iron-man targets every day.
Only play rush poker if my iron-man target is in jeopardy for the day.

Royal Baby!!

Spot the costly slowplay...

Poker Chat with the Lord Part V

Cloud : Hello again.
God : Wow, long time, no talk.
Cloud : Yep, been a bit busy.
God : Poker again?
Cloud : Yeah I wouldn't mind!!
God : No, I mean have you been playing poker again?
Cloud : Oh sorry, yeah. I played a few of the Bloggers WCOOP games.
God : How many did you win?
Cloud : Errr, none.
God : So you're still not very good then?
Cloud : No, I am good, I just suffer a lot of variance.
God : I speak to a lot of poker players, and the ones who talk about variance are normally crap.
Cloud : But I'm not crap!!!
God : Course you're not Cloud.
Cloud : I won a couple of tickets to the Pokerstars Spring Championship of Online Poker, and I was looking for a bit of divine intervention - maybe you could help me to cash??
God : Look, miracles I can do - but seriously???
Cloud : You watch me - I can win one of these babies!!
God : And Tiger Woods is faithful.....
God : By the way Cloud, that website you paid three thousand pounds to last week, it's a scam. You're not going to gain an extra three inches, you're NEVER going to be five inches! Accept it.
Cloud : But I saw the example - the before and after pictures.
God : A different guy I'm afraid.
Cloud : But they are going to send me one of those suction thingy's.
God : Better off using a Dyson in my opinion.
Cloud : Crap, I'm skint now. By the way, what's with all this weather?
God : Yeah sorry, had my eye off the ball, been watching Celebrity Big Brother for the last couple of weeks.
Cloud : Vinnie Jones blew it didn't he...
God : Yeah. I wanted Dane Bowers to win, I voted for him about fifty times, and got a lot of the angels to vote as well - my phone bill is going to be horrendous.
Cloud : Couldn't you have fixed it?
God : I tried to, but I didn't have as much sway as Katie Price..
Cloud : Rightyho, speak soon
God : Yep.
Cloud : Oh, and one last question. Nostradamus, are his predictions correct?
God : No course not, he was normally pissed when he made the predictions - him and his mates did them for a laugh in the pub. And his name is not Nostradamus either, he made that up as well. His name was really Trevor.

Top Tweeting

Had a nice little surprise today. Throughout a lot of the Pokerstars World Bloggers Championships of Online Poker I did a "twitter" commentary, nothing too serious, but a mixture of my own position in the said tournaments and a humourous look at what was going on. I was very pleased today to find out that I had won best "twitter" award for the series, and a couple of tickets for Pokerstars SCOOP (Spring Championship of Online Poker), each worth $215.

Now recently, since starting this year with a bankroll of $200, my average buy-in has been nearer $2.15, than $215, so for me this is pretty exciting - a real chance to have a shot at a big prize, and to give my bankroll (which is now $450) a huge boost.

I don't think the schedule has been released yet (had a quick look but couldn't find it), but I know I'll be sticking to no-limit hold'em in my endeavours (despite asking Pokerstars on Twitter whether there would be a no-limit Cribbage or Battleships event).

So the training will start now...

Firstly I'll get myself into shape - I have been going the gym regularly anyway, but I need to get "Rocky" fit. This will involve me beating up a couple of dead cows on hooks, running along a beach and giving my coach a big cuddle when I beat him and finally running up the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art with a bunch of kids following me (unfortunately I'm not in Philly, so I'm going to run up my own stairs which are not as impressive seeing as there are only twelve, and use my own children to follow me, which once again is not as impressive seeing as I only have two, but I could invite their friends).

Secondly I have to improve my poker knowledge. Unfortunately, seeing as I know everything already (Sklansky comes to me for advice) this is very tough, but hey, you can never STOP learning. So once I am fully confident that I know the hand rankings chart (a flush really beats 3 of a kind??) I'm going to move onto the Harrington books everyone keeps telling me about. But what the fuck a golfer knows about poker I'll never know.

And finally, I'm going to try and improve my poker mentality. If I can learn not to hit myself about the head with a mouse (computer mouse, not a mouse mouse) when I suffer a bad beat, it would be a start, especially when the batteries fall out, and I have to sit out for forty-five minutes while I shoot down to Tesco's to get some more, which makes the tilt situation somewhat worse.
I've also heard meditation is good, but I'm not so sure, as SURELY you'll miss out on some hands, and a few reads????* So bugger that, I'd rather play than sit out with my legs crossed.

So wish me luck on my S.C.O.O.P campaign.
I'm not really expecting much - a first and a second will do.

*Ed - You won't miss out and don't call me Shirley.

World Bloggers COOP Main Event (and a monkey)

Finished 119th out of 2000 in the main event of the Pokerstars Bloggers World Championship of Online Poker.

Four and a half hours until I made the cash.

Four and three quarter hours until I had KK beaten by A10 which depleted my stack by a half.

Five and a quarter hours until I had AQ beaten by KQ which cost me my seat and 50,000 chips.

Five and a quarter hours and five seconds until I shouted, "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, anything but a fucking King"

Five hours and 16 minutes until I decided not to berate my opponent for his spewy call with KQ for 2/3 of his stack.

Five hours and 20 minutes until I stopped banging my head against the wall.



Quick end of month report.
Started with exactly $200 on 1st Jan - ended with $406.11 - very pleased with that.
Aims for Feb - more of the same and iron-man status for the first time.

And oh yeah - here's my monkey for finishing last in the Bloggerment last night. Was quite involved in the WBCOOP and took a chance with just top pair no kicker - and deservedly got owned!

Rush

So I've become addicted to Rush poker. There I was, happy in my decision to go back to STT's, and going along nicely - had improved my "decade starting roll" of $200, to $300, and then along comes rush poker. I gave it a tentative go, didn't do very well, then went back to the sit'n'go. I had a bit of a bad run, and found my bankroll back down to $270, so I thought I'd give rush another go. My bankroll is now $380, and right now I can't think of a better way to try and build my bankroll. I can play so many more hands playing rush poker, that it doesn't make any sense to play sit'n'go's right now - rush poker opens the door to the Full Tilt Ironman status for me, it's much easier to play (can play on any PC as it doesn't require a HUD - although I'm sure this will come, though I'm not sure how right now, as you only get to see which players are playing where from a hand history, and by the time this comes, that table is history), and seeing as I get rakeback from FT, it's a win-win.
The long term aim is to being playing sit'n'go's mainly, with the odd MTT thrown in, as I don't think I'm much of a cash player - but I do find 6-max rush poker quite straightforward and some of the play is horrendous.
Sets are very interesting playing rush poker. I'm finding that if I flop a set, it's easy to double up, as top pairs are not folding. However, on the flipside, playing against sets is tough at times. In a normal cash game, you have a lot of info, but with rush you don't know if a player is the type who go OTT with a top pair Q kicker type hand, or a decent player who is only shoving with a made hand. Playing at $10NL, if I have AA and I meet opposition on a K,8,2 rainbow flop - I'd say it's probably profitable to presume a player hasn't got a set when they shove over the top on the flop. I have been caught a couple of times, but there have been a few times when I've doubled up in this type of hand.
Obviously there are clues you can pick up - for example, of someones bet sizing is good, I'm more likely to give them credit. Or if they limp-call, I'm less likely to give them credit. But it can be tough, and I know I'll get caught out a few times.

But I have to say, Full Tilt have come up with something quite groundbreaking, and it will be interesting to see how the other poker sites deal with this.

WBCOOP Event One

Played in the first World Bloggers Championship game last night on Pokerstars. I like these games - firstly because they are a good chance to meet other bloggers, and secondly because they are free with good prizes!! (and I am a bit tight...)

So there I sat with my 2000 chips and I thought I'd start the chat rolling.
"May you miss every flop and may your internet connection go down until you are out" "Good Luck Everyone" I type.
I receive a reply in Turkish. Now my Turkish isn't great, but loosely translated I think he replied "Shut up you dirty English blogger", although it might have been "Good Luck".
The rest of the table were particularly sociable, three of them sitting out, and the other four either not wanting to talk, or not being able to talk because they had had their chat privileges revoked (these Bloggers don't react well to bad beats - I should know).
I look around the table - a Croatian, a Turk, two Norwegians, a German and an Irishman - fuck me, it's the Eurovision Song Contest.

A few hands in, and here's my chance.
Ace King.
Oooohhhhh.
Two limpers, and then a raise in front of me.
I shove em in. That'll show 'em!!
The limpers fold (weeds) but the the raiser calls.
We're racing - AK v QQ.
Do I hit????
Course I don't.
I'm down to 325 chips.
I'm not upset, hey it's only a blogger game, and my wife easily persuades me not to take the 38 paracetamol that I am about to shove into my mouth.
"Hey Nick, a chip and a chair and all that" she says.
"You don't believe that bullshit do you?" I answer.

But then she might be right.
A limper limps in, and I have A2s. I shove, and am insta-called by K 10 (which proves the theory that you don't have to play good poker to write about it - which is my mantra).
My A2 hold and I am back to 700.
All I need is another double-up and I am back in it.
I have A8s, and it's folded around to me - and I shove from the cut-off.
The big blind calls me with A4off (same player who limp called K 10 - poor guy didn't have a fold button).
Here we go - I'm back in it!!!!
Until the river.
A 4.
A 4.
4.
4.
4....
I get out my guitar and play a particularly moving rendition of "Heartbreak Hotel" (available on youtube from tomorrow) and then head off to bed.

Roll on event two.
(actually that's a bit late for me - so roll on event six)
See you there!

My Evil, Cunning Plan to win the Bloggers WCOOP

I have formulated a plan, which is both cunning, and evil – a plan which will see me dominate the poker blogging world in the upcoming Bloggers World Championship of Online Poker. Here is my plan:

1)Leave the following comment on every poker blog in THE WHOLE WORLD.
“Hi, I have followed your blog from the start, and I think it is absolutely splendid. Your poker tales make me both laugh and cry, and not a day goes by where I am not checking *insert blog name here*. I would be very honoured if you could participate in a link exchange with my new blog – PokerifficPoker.blogspot.com”

However, the site PokerifficPoker.blogspot.com will actually be a dummy blog and not a real blog (see, cunning!!).

2)Set up the dummy blog – but install a malicious worm (not an actual worm, as these are very difficult to install on websites) that overwrites the PC users pokerstars passwords with entries from the Tasmanian edition of the Yellow Pages. So when Mister or Missus Blogger goes to log-in to play the WCOOP – they can’t (unless of course, their password matches up to the exact entry from the Tasmanian Yellow Pages) and they’ll all be sitting out except MEEEE!!!!! (see, evil!!)
Now this plan should work, but there are bloggers out there who know their way around a laptop, who might be able to over-ride the worm – so the following back-up plan is required.

3)Leave a subliminal message on PokerifficPoker.blogspot.com. The user might think that he/she is listening to Christina Aguilera singing about being beautiful when hitting the site, but they are actually being brainwashed. And little do they know it, but at the exact times that the Blogger tournaments start – every time the blogger reaches for their mouse, it will initiate a reaction in the brain, that will cause the blogger and all of his/her housemates to riverdance around the garden until dawn.

The Bloggers WCOOP is mine. All mine. Mwa haaa haaa. Mwu haaaaa haaaaaa. MWU HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA.

Is this call as bad as I think it is?

This hand is in a satellite with the top two winning seats (a v.small FTP's prize for third).
I shove with 33 here, knowing with a shorter stack here, that the other large stack can only call with a very good hand.
Not bloody JQ....

Unwritten Laws of Football

Saw some of these on the Betfair forum today, and I thought they were good.

1. The referee must only blow for full time when the ball is in mid-air after a long goal kick.

2. Any player, no matter who they are, shall not be punished for commiting a foul throw.

3. The assistant referee will ask an oncoming substitute to show him their studs - and will then take no further action upon whatever it is he sees.

4. The keeper always, always jumps up and gives his defence a huge bollocking after a great save.
The better the save, the bigger the bollocking.

5. European nights at anfield are always "special"

6. Non league scorers of winning cup shock goals must be postmen.

7. If a player goes down injured the crowd will jeer shouting "cheat".
If player goes off on a stretcher whole crowd will stand and clap.

8. If the ball strikes you on the hand anywhere on the pitch, it is always a free kick. But if you are inside your own penalty area, it has to have been deliberate, otherwise the award of a penalty is deemed ‘harsh’.

9. Any player being filmed leaving a team bus must ensure that he is wearing headphones and carrying a small Louis Vuitton wash bag.

10. Any player who has recently become a father must pretend to be cradling a newborn should they score.

Year of the Cockerel?

I've hit my first poker wall of the year. It has been going swimmingly so far, but for the last three or four days it's been a struggle, and if my AK's would hold up against any two fucking cards I'd be getting somewhere. As you can see from the graph a couple of posts ago, it was all upwards up until the 150 tourny mark, but for the last 100 I am a little bit down.
I'm playing super turbo $1.50 + $0.20 games 6 seater games, so before I started playing them I expected huge variance, but my great start gave me a false sense of security that the variance wouldn't be that bad - when it clearly will be.
To be honest, I'm not playing anywhere near as much as I should be - I have played 244 games in 18 days - but because each one lasts 15-20 minutes and I am 5-tabling, I should be getting in at least 50 a day - so that is my target for the next few days at least.
I am operating on a very strict 100 buy-in rule, and my next target is $380 so I can play the $3.80 super turbos, and right now my balance is exactly $300.29 - so I'm not a million miles away. I get rakeback from Full Tilt, but my account was slightly in deficit (used a lot of points recently to buy into satellites), but now my account is clear, and I'll start earning rakeback this week - which should speed things along a little.

A big game for Spurs on wednesday night at Anfield. This is a true test of where we stand, and if we've got the bottle to take that next step. Player for player, considering Gerrard and Torres are out, we look the better team, and three points would be a huge fillip for the boys - but I've suffered so many letdowns over the years (lasagna-gate being the worst) that I know Spurs are capable of finishing anywhere between 4th and mid-table this season.
I'd probably take a point, but there has never been a better time to go to Anfield for the win.

I've added 3 more vids to my favourite youtube cover songs blog - link top right.

Bloggerment

Don't forget the Bloggerment tonight - 9pm


You'll be pleased to know that I have started another blog - though this one isn't anything to do with poker, and I have no intention of stopping/renaming/deleting this blog, as this blog is for keeps.
The new blog is just a selection of some of my favourite "cover" songs on youtube. There are now thousands upon thousands of "amateur" covers on youtube - and some are very good and some are very bad. I thought I'd keep the ones I like the most in one place.

http://youcover.blogspot.com/

2010 - So far so good

Bloggy Super Cup Thingy

I have registered to play in the WBCOOP PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! You too can Play Poker Online at PokerStars.com and take part in the WBCOOP which is open to all Bloggers by registering on WBCOOP to play.

Registration code: 614255

My window cleaner looks like Kevin Pietersen

My window cleaner looks like Kevin Pietersen. I actually thought he was Kevin Pietersen the first time I saw him, but the fact that he wasn't wearing pads and holding a cricket bat made me a bit wary, and also the fact that England were playing Australia on the TV, and KP was fielding on the boundary, whilst he was cleaning our windows (the window cleaner, not KP).
And the fact that his "window cleaner mate" kept calling him Steve, was another indication.
I said to him, "Do you know who you look like?"
"Kevin Pietersen" he said.
"Yes" I replied.
"People say that all the time."
"Are you related?"
"No."
"It's funny, there's a guy works down the jewellers who's a spitting image for Michael Schumacher" I tell him.
I don't think he is Michael Schumacher, because he is loaded, and probably doesn't need to work in a jewellers - in the same way that Kevin Pietersen probably doesn't need to clean windows to pay the mortgage. And he doesn't walk about in a crash helmet.
What an exciting life I lead!!!!
If you know of anyone who looks like a famous sportsperson - hey, let me know! I am waiting with baited breath...

Poker.
Is good.
Oh yes.

Stars v Tilt - The Verdict

Like most poker players, the big debate is - which is better - Stars or Tilt.

I think Stars are better, because they are nice to look at and twinkle.

I don't like Tilt, because there is nothing worse than going for a super-megatron bonus, just by firing the pinball through the "tunnel of Morkonoid" - and just when you are going to get the highest score, your wife plonks a cup of tea on the pinball machine a little too hard - and TILT!!!!
And it's game over.

So....Stars are better

Obviously

Amazing Clip

Fail

Had a little blogging break, as I was all blogged out.
The poker front is still going surprisingly well. At the end of the year I had started playing STT's again, and I've continued with that. I've moved over to Full Tilt, where I have rakeback, and I am sticking to strict bankroll management.
I put $200 in on New Years Day, and it's up to $250 now - I've been playing super turbo games - 300 chips, 3 minute levels - and a lot of them. So it's pretty pleasing, and I'm confident that this year I'll be able to turn that into much more (I'm hoping four figures at the very least).


I don't know if anyone has noticed, but it's kinda cold.
A friend of my wife came round the other day in the snow, and parked her car on our driveway - but she suffers from migraines, and wasn't able to drive home, and her husband picked her up. The following night he came round to pick up the car, but because of the cold weather, it had a flat battery, so I had to jump-start him.

Now this guy is one of those "practical" people. He has jump leads, he knows what he is doing with cars, and he knows how they work. Me? We've owned our car four and a half years, and I haven't been under the bonnet once.
So stage one was opening the bonnet. Did I know how to do it? Nope...
It was dark and I was scrabbling around trying to find a handle. I managed to open the petrol cap whilst pulling any handle, and after about thirty seconds I found a handle, which made a distinctive click - and the other guy was opening the bonnet.
"I've got away with it...he hasn't realised I'm a car idiot yet..." I'm thinking as I walk the long way around the car to sneakily close the petrol cap lock.
Jeremy Clarkson would hate me (which would be OK as the feeling would be mutual..)
"Nick, where's the rod that keeps the bonnet open? I can't see it in the dark?"
FUCK!!!!!! How do I know???? I feel around the edges..can I find it? No.
"I had this problem before, I'm not sure it's got one."
What the fuck did I just say?? Of course it's got one. EVERY CAR EVER MADE HAS GOT ONE.
"I'll hold the bonnet open, whilst you attach the jump leads" I say.
He gets on with it, doing the practical jump-leads bit, me standing there like a prize lemon holding the bonnet open (which is bloody cold on the hands btw).
He tries the car, but it won't start. "I'm gonna need more gas.."
Which is a problem, as it's a tough job placing your foot on the accelerator whilst holding the bonnet open.
Plan B is called into action. I call the wife outside. The wife holds the bonnet open as I place my foot on the accelerator - and the other car starts. Thank fuck.
He thanks us for helping us out and wife says, "Why didn't you use this?", pulling up the rod that holds the bonnet open...
I disappear into a huge whole in the ground.

Babe of the Decade Result

Babe of the Decade - The Winner

There was a lady called Kylie,
Whom Cloudy rated highly,
From her head to her toe,
Cloudy wouldn't say no,
Her surname is Minogue not O'Reilly



Happy New Year and may all your pokering be damn fine!

Birthday and number two

It was my eldest's 6th birthday yesterday - so we decided to take a trip to Paradise Wildlife Park. We asked her ages ago what she wanted to do on her birthday, and that is what she wanted, so despite the heavy rain we went.
It was actually a really good time to go. We normally go in the summer, but it is packed - but yesterday there were only around twenty other people in the whole park. At one stage I had a staring competition with a lion - "brave" me giving it large, because there were bars and re-inforced glass between me and the said lion. I don't think I'm quite Crocodile Dundee, more Terrapin Dundee - so if faced with a lion without a cage, I think I'd find the pace of Usain Bolt.
My daughter loved the Meercats - and the Meercats were surely thinking, "If any other bastard does that Compare the Meerkat impression, we're gonna go insane".
I did the Compare the Meerkat impression.

Haven't had time for any pokes hardly at all - but loads of time in the new year - so gonna hit it tres hard (French! This blog has become multi-lingual to end the decade).

Have a wonderful new year, and a quick summary of my aims for the new decade -

Win the main event of the WSOP ten times in a row. (Should be achievable, and I thought I'd keep it realistic, unlike some others, who set their sights way too high..)

Babe of the Decade - Number Two : Cheryl Cole (Number One tomorrow - think you might have guessed by now - many have)

After The Lord Mayors Show

I sat down to play poker full of confidence yesterday.
I loaded up 5 standard five dollar tables. My last session had seen five cashes, and I had my "live win" in between.
Easy game this.

I failed to cash in any of them.
Bugger.

Babe of the Decade - Number 3 : Kate Moss

A Live Success

Played live last night - and had one of my best poker nights.
There were twelve people playing in a home game - two guys who I've played against before, but the rest were unknown. Me and a friend got there a bit early, and there was a quick 8 player £5 turbo whilst we were waiting for everyone to show - and I managed to get heads up. By the time we were heads-up everyone had turned up, so I did a deal with the other guy - fifteen quid for me, twenty-five for him (he had a solid chip lead) - so it was a decent start to the evening.

Then the main event event started. It was a £30 freeze-out - the first three got paid, £200, £100 and £60. Whenever I've played live before, I've always played a bit too tight - so I made a conscious decision to open up a bit - and really go for the win.
However, when it started, everyone was so loose - that TAG was the ONLY way to go.
We had 10K chips, and the blinds started at 25/50 - and I played my first big hand around thirty hands in. It was blind v blind (blinds now 100/200) - and the SB raised me. I had A-10s, so I 3-bet the guy quite heavily. He flat called my 3-bet - and the flop was a dry Qxx. He checked, I shoved and he folded his own A-10 - so it was a nice way to get started.
I was quickly seen as the uber-tight player, so I used my image quite nicely by stealing a few times with trash - only showing when I had the goods.
I found myself in the final six - and then got very lucky. I was in the cut-off with 10-Js with around 12K in chips (so I was a bit behind at this stage). The blinds were 600/1200, so I shoved - but was insta-called by both the button and the BB. My 10-Js met AK and J2(????). The flop was AKx, so I was out, apart from a miracle Q. The miracle came on the river, and from being on the verge of going out, I was chip leader (SHIP IT!). After that my luck run out. I had other players all-in a couple of times, but just couldn't hold (10 10 v A9, AQ v A7) - and there were still six left, but we all had similar stacks.
We had a break, and one guy then got 4 of a kind twice in a row (live poker is so rigged) - and as the other players were so active, I found myself in the cash without doing much, although now I was the shortie.
I used my tight image to make a few steals, and got myself level with one of the other guys, who shoved with A7 - I had AJ and insta-called, and held. We were now heads up and level, and as it was late, we split the first place, and took £150 quid each.

I was delighted with that result. I don't play live much, but I felt completely comfortable, and quickly realised that there were only a couple of players as good as me (one run his own poker school, and another was a decent online player). The rest were a mixed bag - and limping was commonplace. At one stage I made a fold, when I hit top pair with a 6 kicker, and met resistance to my flop bet, so I let it go - and they were all saying it was an amazing fold (the other guy had top pair with a ten kicker) - but it was pretty standard - and that told me somewhat what the standard was.

So I went out with fifty quid, and came back with about £180 - so that was a nice nights work!

Babe of the decade - Number 4 : Dannii Minogue

Jordan - The Comeback

I think I might actually make a post about poker today -seeing as this is a poker blog.
I'm still playing mainly STT's (the odd cash game when I'm strapped for time) and it's been going actually really well.
When I started back on the STT's I had around $100 in my account - but had a bad start, and found myself down to $30 at one stage - but it's been pretty solid since, and my account now stands at around $270.
I think I'm learning to deal with the variance side of the STT. I've been playing a mixture of standard and turbo games - but although the standard games have been solid, I quickly found myself over 20 buy-ins down at the turbo games. At this point I was questioning my own play, and thinking turbos weren't for me - but am now in profit at these games. So I guess a 20 buy-in downswing is pretty standard variance, and I'll probably face much worse than that.
Yesterday I had a great session - I 5-tabled $6.50 turbos, and managed to cash in all of them, two firsts, two seconds and a third.
I've been having a bit of e-mail coaching with fellow blogger Acornman, which has helped a lot, and given me confidence that my game wasn't in particularly bad shape, but just needed a few minor tweeks.

Babe of the Decade Number 5 - Ola Jordan (the lady who makes dancing watchable)

Crimbo

Christmas was great. The kids loved it - and their dad had far too much to drink.
I'm not a big drinker at all, mainly drink wine at home nowadays - so seven bottles of Uri Geller, glasses of wine/port/champagne and a cocktail or two didn't make me feel too well on boxing day morning.
But by lunchtime I felt alright. So I thought I was over it.
At five o'clock I started to feel a bit crap again - but we'd already decided to grab a takeaway after the hectic last two days. So I walked to the fish and chip shop, to get a bit of fresh air. Unfortunately, the fish and chip shop was closed.
So I'd like to give a bit of hangover advice....
Whatever you do, when hungover - DON'T have a large shish kebab with chilli sauce poured all over it. Because then your hangover will last another day....

Babes of the Decade - Number 6 : Sherilyn Fenn (not really been around much in the 2000's - but still looks mighty fine)

Alvin!!!!

As the horse racing has finished now until boxing day, I have three days off - so we decided to take the kids to see "Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 - the Squeakul". Alvin and co get to meet the Chipettes - three female chipmunks who start out as rivals to the chipmunks, and the film ends with all six chipmunks going at it like chipmunks, which results in 37 baby chipmunks (actually, it was a kids film, so the six chipmunks just go to sleep at the end, though put six chipmunks in a room.....)

Have started to watch Gavin and Stacey. I really didn't fancy it, but my sister-in-law lended us the first series on DVD, and I have to say, it is brilliant - highly watchable and the supporting cast is fantastic. Rob Brydon is especially funny.

Haven't played poker since my drunken success on tuesday night, and probably won't play now until after boxing day - if I survive until then!

Babes of the Decade Number 7 : Elisha Cuthbert

A Wintry Tale

"Might have a game of poker before I go to bed," said a very handsome man who called himself the Cloud.
"But you've been drinking wine, and you never win when you drink," said the wife of the Cloud.
"I'm only going to have one game. And it's on betfair, so it should be easy," retorted Cloud in a slightly slurred voice.
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
And so, on a cold december evening, Mr Cloud settled himself in for an hour or two of inebriated poker, whilst watching men of various weights chucking arrows into a board of various colours on the television.
"An STT for me," Cloud murmured, and then waited for the table to fill. "If this was Pokerstars, the table would be full by now, but there are still only two registered....maybe I've got time to pour myself another wine."
Returning from the kitchen, the table was now full.
Mr Cloud remembered his wife's words.
"But you've been drinking wine, and you never win when you drink".
And she would have been right....

IF I HADN'T WHOOPED THE BASTARDS ARSES!!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!!!!!!

Babes of the decade Number 8 : Sarah Harding

Pwned and number nine

Yesterday morning I went down the gym.
Over the next few days I don't think I'll be eating particularly healthily, and it was my last chance to get some serious exercise in.
So when I got there, I plonked myself on the cross-trainer. I tend to stick to this machine nowadays, and I normally do around 45 minutes. Doing 45 minutes, I tend to stick to a steady pace, as if I go too mental on it, I'd only last around a quarter of an hour.
So there I was, 5 minutes in, when an old guy got on the machine next to me. This guy was in his seventies I deduced (my deduction was based on his wrinkled face, his slight stoop and the fact that he wore full length black socks with white trainers).
This guy started, and he was going super fast - nearly double the speed I was going.
I considered keeping up, but hey, he must be doing a short session, so there was no point - although I found it a little embarassing that I was being whooped by a pensioner. If he wants to kill himself he can. I was happy being the tortoise to his hare. I was doing 45 minutes - he wasn't.

40 minutes later.

The fucker was still going. I was sweating buckets, he wasn't even puffing.
I'd burnt off around 500 calories - this guy must have burnt off 1000, but by the looks of him, he didn't have 1000 calories to burn off - so I considered buying him a mars bar (just in case) - but decided it wouldn't be the proper thing to do.

I went and got changed, and then realised I had left my gym card in the gym. I went backto get it.
And yep, he was still going...
Bastard.

Top 10 Babes of the Decade : No. 9
Kirsty Gallacher

The Hammer and Top Ten Babes : No 10

Possibly my favourite hand of the year. After raising with 27off (the hammer), I should have put it down to an all-in. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Who was I to doubt the power of the hammer?????




To bring in the new decade, I thought I'd give you a countdown of my own personal top ten babes from the last ten years.

Number 10 : Rachel Stevens

Sometimes 4 of a kind just isn't enough...

I win an STT, when both of us hit 4 of a kind. A first for me.

A Love Story

So I went down the gym this morning.
I've had an on-off relationship with the gym for the last four or five years.
The gym and I got together, and things started off so well. We were getting on, having fun, started to understand each other, and I'll admit that there was a spark there - and I started to develope feelings. I thought it was going to last forever....
But like a lot of relationships, something or someone comes along, and the passion fades - and in my case, I fell for an exercise bike, which could stay at home, and didn't cost forty quid a month.

So the gym was alone.
And sad.

Then 18 months ago, we got together again. Just on a trial basis. But it didn't work. I think we got back together for the wrong reasons. I'd just finished with the exercise bike, and to be honest, I think I was on the rebound.
Yeah, it was fun for the first few weeks.
But a rebound relationship is not always a great idea, and it wasn't in this case. I was pining for my exercise bike, and even though I tried to forget about her, I really couldn't.

So the gym was alone.
Again.
And sad.

It's only now, that the exercise bike has left me - ran off with a treadmill :o( - that I realise that maybe the gym is the one I want after all. The gym has always been around, always there for me. Don't get me wrong, the exercise bike was amazing - her thin oiled body, her amazingly pert handles, the fact that we could do it in any room in the house (although she always made me go on top) - but I think it was just a fling.

So now the gym and I are back together again. We got back together last week. She sent me a letter ("a free month and no joining fee!") because she was obviously missing me - and I've been kinda missing her too.
We're going to take things slow at first this time. We've said that we'll just see each other two or three times a week - but I'm hoping this is the real thing this time.

(if anyone sees a treadmill running around around with a bike - punch him will you..)

Shedding Hell

Of Sheds

Monday - Won a shedload for me
Tuesday - Won half a shedload
Wednesday - Won a small shed
Thursday - Lost a small shed
Friday - Lost half a shedload

Overall - A shedload up

On friday I also had a quick half hour 6-tabling cash as I didn't have time to play any sit'n'go's and won a half a shedload.

So far today I've won a small part of a shed - maybe the lock, or part of the roof, or maybe a nice little window.

Poker Chat with the Lord Part IV

Cloud : Hello again sir!
God : Alreet
Cloud : Glad you're here again. I tried you on your mobile last week, but there was no answer.
God : Oh yeah, sorry. I saw I had a missed call, but I thought it was that Ivey fellow asking what a flush was again.
Cloud : No worries. I wanted to talk to you about the recurring dream I keep having.
God : The one with Sherilyn Fenn, Jennifer Aniston and a toblerone?
Cloud : Yeah, that's it.
God : You want me to tell you what it means?
Cloud : No, bugger that, I want it to come true.
God : Fine, only if you can do me a favour. I want some advice.
Cloud : Yep, what's that.
God : I want to start my own blog and I've got a great idea for a regular feature. "Poker Chat with the Cloud". Do you think it could work?
Cloud : No, sounds ridiculous to be honest. Stick to the miracles geez.
God : I spent all day yesterday working miracles.
Cloud : Did you? I didn't read anything in the papers.
God : How d'you think you made a hundred bucks yesterday?
Cloud : But I thought that... Oh never mind.
God : Think I might play in the Bloggerment next week....
Cloud : Cool.
God : Yeah, show you bloggers who the real daddy is.
Cloud : You'll be up against some decent players....
God : Look, I've been playing poker since your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather was in nappies
(ed : Thank god for cut and paste..)
Cloud : Who was he?
God : Oliver Cromwell.
Cloud : So I'm a roundhead??
God : You are receding admittedly, but that's a little harsh on yourself Cloud.
Cloud : One last question. The World Cup - who's going to win?
God : England
Cloud : Really???? Fantastic!!!
God : Course not. Stupid. You English are so gullible....
Cloud : See you!
God : Byeeeeeeee

Shippy-Diddy-Do

Since my last post, when I was bemoaning my lack of luck - the results have started pouring in.
I've put in some serious volume (for me anyway), and today alone played 20 $5 STT's - and managed to cash in eleven of them, which I was pretty pleased with. I also played an FPP hyper-turbo satellite, and took that down as well - so overall today I am just a few cents short of making $100 today - which is my best day for a long, long time.

I have made one change since my last post. I had been playing turbos, but I've gone back to playing the standard length games. After playing just turbos for the last couple of years, the standard length games seem very sluggish, but the donks are given a lot more time to donk, and they don't let you down. And I have not always been great coping with variance, and this is a lower variance game. When I started playing poker, these were all I played - and I feel like they've welcomed me back with open arms (and wallets/purses).

A bit of Britpop for you. I loved this album.

Sitting and Going

I'm playing a lot of sit and go's right now, and in the last few days, I feel my knowledge of them has improved a lot - unfortunately I am running so bad, and I'm not catching any breaks. Right now I feel a little frustrated, as I just loaded up another set of three, and went out of all of them relatively early.

Here are my three exit hands, and you'll see why I'm a little pissed off.







I know it's a matter of volume, and I know things will turn around, but right now I'm a little annoyed. It's not just these three games, but I've run bad in others - I bubbled last night when I got a guy all-in with AK, hit AKx on the flop, and he hits a straight on the turn.

I intend to up the volume this weekend, so hopefully this will see things level out.

Tiger, Why?

Jaw Dropper

It's very rare for me to be absolutely in shock, but right now my jaw is hitting the ground, and I am standing up.

I've just come off the phone to a good friend of mine. I went to school with him, and there is a circle of five or six who all keep in touch and probably all meet up four or five times a year. Obviously, it gets harder to meet up as we all get older, but I think we've done a good job of keeping in touch.
Within this group, there are three who support Spurs like me, one Everton supporter and one and a half Liverpool supporters (one genuine, and one half-hearted).

So, anyway, here's how the conversation went.

"Did I tell you I've changed allegiance?"
"What do you mean?" I said.
"Changed my team"
"Sorry. What, you're not Spurs anymore?"
"No"
"Fuck off"
"Seriously"
"To who?"
"You're not going to like it."
If he is being serious, I'm hoping he is about to say Barnet or another local lower league team. As long as he doesn't say......
"Arsenal"
WTF
WTF
WTF
WTF
WTF

And it wasn't a wind-up.
38 years old and you change from Tottenham to Arsenal.

Now I'll admit to making the opposite move. At the age of seven I was a little goonie, but Glenn Hoddle made me see the light, and my life improved considerably ever since.
But at 38....

Wow.

Caffeine Free

Monday night 10.20pm
About six hours into my new poker life as a STT'er/MTT'er.
Once again I've given up the cash game - it's not particularly going great, and if I enjoyed the cash game, I could probably ride the lows, and come out on top. But I don't really enjoy it - it gives me no buzz at all.
So last week I stuck to a few MTT's - around nine I think, and I made a very small profit.
Today I played my first ten sit and go's. Not particularly successfully - a loss, but not disastrous (3 cashes) - but I didn't run well, and lost many all important flips. I'm having a little coaching from fellow blogger Acornman and if my results are half as good as his I'll be a happy man. It's much appreciated, although I draw the line at Haggis and wearing a skirt in public - but I don't mind a bit of tossing the caber.

I'm on a caffeine free kick right now. A week now without tea or coffee.
i'm normally a very calm person, but I've been a bit antsy recently - and someone suggested I cut out caffeine. And right now I feel great. Whether or not it is/was the caffeine I don't know - but if it's not, the placebo effect is working anyway - so I'm going with it.
A couple of mornings it has been tough, and I've never drunk so much fruit juice ("Blogger turns into an orange shocker - still can't win STT").
I was drinking two or three coffees in the morning, and I would have two or three teas during the day - which is a lot of caffeine.

Next step - cut out alcohol.

And on that ridiculous statement, I'll leave you until my next post...

Anatomy of a Villain

I played a hand with a guy the other day - who typed in "zoom" when he bad-beat me.
The fucker is probably sitting there in a hawaiian shirt, thinking how clever he is. And I bet he has got big feet. Like, really BIG feet - the kind of feet that look ridiculous in a pair of trainers, but I bet he thinks he looks really cool - when in actual fact he gets mistaken for Ronald McDonald on a regular basis. And he's German. And has facial hair. Not a trim little beard, but that unkempt wavy kind of facial hair - all patchy and puby. And whilst he is playing he is watching Stargate Atlantis. Not only is he watching Stargate Atlantis, but he is wearing a Stargate Atlantis t-shirt. And he has bought a script from Stargate Atlantis on Ebay.de, which sits proudly on the sideboard alongside his Starship Enterprise model and a purple dragon.
And he once had a girlfriend, but she dumped him for the ginger guy with the twitch down the road. And now the ex-girlfriend posts pictures of his manhood on knobsthatlooklikebuttonmushrooms.com.
He has the autograph of David Hasselhoff, because "I waited outside the theatre for seven hours", and auditioned for Germany's Got Talent playing both parts in a Hasselhoff/Knight Rider sketch. He didn't get through - but made the highlights show, and is now a minor celebrity - though not for the reason he thinks.
His password on all internet sites is "L'oreal", because he's worth it.
Every time he wins a hand at poker, he high-fives with the full-scale model of Luke Skywalker that of an evening will eventually share his bed.
He has seven friends on facebook, all beautiful Eastern European women who all want to marry him, if he'll only send some money to pay for the airfair. Although he has since blocked "Natalia from Tallinn", as he has now sent money five times, and not heard a "blasted" thing.
He wears a cap - at 45 degrees to his head, because he is street. The cap features Minnie and Mickey holding hands whilst skipping and whistling.

And he uses the word "zoom" when he puts a bad beat on someone.
The fucker.

Tournies

On sunday I played a couple of tournies - one was the Bloggerment, and the other was the "Joe Cada" celebration thingy on Stars with 30,000 runners (200 FPP buy-in).

I managed a 4th placed finish in the Bloggerment after shoving my A4s into Al Eleven's JQ - but the way Al was running, I knew I had a less than 1% chance of holding, and I was right - though Stars could have been kinder, waiting until the river to deliver my fatal blow.

The other game was a fish fest - and I wasn't really concentrating on it whilst playing the Bloggerment (started at 9 like the Bloggerment) - but once the Bloggerment was over, I started playing it.
The top 5400 cashed, and I made that without too much trouble - a couple of double ups with made hands against pairs. Then I decided to go for it - no point sitting around in these events, so I went into aggressive mode.
I got to around 25000 chips (3x the average chip stack) - but then lost most of it in a very annoying hand.
I was the BB, and there were 4 limpers - and I was holding A2s - so I shoved. All of the limpers had a smaller stack than me, and I didn't think that any of them could call off their stack. I was wrong. I came up against the might of K-10 off, and obviously lost it. I found it an amazing call - the guy had 20,000 chips, and the blinds were only 250/500, so he was in no way desperate - but hey, at poker, people do the stupidest things.
I lost a flip soon after, and went out for the grand sum of $6.

Think I might play a few more MTT's. I rarely play them, but when I do, I really enjoy them. I'm finding the cash grind a little boring right now (and to be honest, not particularly lucrative considering I am on a long break-even run), so I think I'll add a little variety.

Some Black-Eyed Peas for you.
My wife asked me if I found Fergie attractive?
I said not really, I wasn't sure about his red nose, and the way he kept looking at his watch.

Bloggerment 2

The Bloggerment - tonight

Poker Chat with the Lord Part III

Cloud : Hello again!!
God : Alright my old chestnut.
Cloud : Not bad. Can you calm down with all this rain?
God : Yeah, sorry - the Angels have been doing the charity car wash thing for Children in Need - and they overdid a bit with the water.
Cloud : Ah well, at least we get to see the pics of an old lady in a rowing boat.
God : You do know it's always the same old lady don't you? She's an actress from Littlehampton - and Sky News always call her up when there's a flood.
Cloud : Thought she looked familiar.
God : Yeah, she also does Miss Marple on ITV.
Cloud : You been playing poker?
God : Yeah, I've been having a few games with Patrick Antonius. I was beating him up, but I let him win a big hand - just to keep him sweet. I also played that Tom Dwan fellow a few times. Maybe you've heard of them?
Cloud : Nah, do they play NL10? I'll keep my eye out.
God : I've been watching you play Cloudy as well - man you play Ace-King badly...
Cloud : What?
God : You ever tried watching a training vid?
Cloud : Yeah, plenty.
God : Doesn't look like it....
Cloud : Who do you think you are?
God : God
Cloud : What's wrong with the way I play Ace-King?
God : It's Ace high man - whatsamatterWITyou???? Let it go!!!!
Cloud : Why you gone all ghetto?
God : Yeah sorry, been watching series two of "The Wire" on DVD.
Cloud : I do fold Ace-King.
God : No you don't.
Cloud : I do. I do. I do.
God : When was the last time you folded Ace King?
Cloud : February 2003.
God : And why did you fold it?
Cloud : Mis-click.
God : I might have an opening for you anyway. My new site - PokerInTheSkyWithALongWhiteBeard.com - is looking for a blogger. Would you be interested?
Cloud : Yeah, course I would!
God : Great!! You're in charge of finding me a good blogger!!
Cloud : Oh. I thought...... It doesn't matter.
God : The site will open with a special $100K overlay tournament.
Cloud : A bounty on your head?
God : No, I don't like the coconut bits in my hair when the chocolate melts.
(Ed : Sorry....couldn't resist)
Cloud : I'll look forward to it. Is there a deposit bonus?
God : Only salvation.
Cloud : Ahh, cool. One last question.
God : Fire away.
Cloud : Will Spurs ever win the Premiership?
God : About as much chance as Britney Spears scoring a century against Australia at Lords whilst Gordon Brown and David Cameron sing "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" as they unicycle around the boundary.
Cloud : Thanks. Speak soon.
God : You too sir.

Thierry Henry

Extra-time in one of the biggest games of your career - a place at the World Cup is at stake.
You're running to the byline, and the ball hits your arm, which holds the ball up. However, the ball is still going out, so you instinctively keep it in play with your hand - and then cross it in, for one of your team-mates to score the goal that sends your team into the World Cup.

That's the way I see it. I don't think the first touch was handball, more a case of ball hitting arm - the second touch a definite handball, but an instinctive one, that most players would have done - the same way that a defender standing on the line would save with his hand if he had to.

So, if you ask me - did Henry cheat? I'd say no. I would say a pre-meditated dive in the area is a much worse offense than what Henry did.

However, I do think Henry missed an opportunity here. Henry has always, to me, seemed a real sportsman. Supporting Spurs, that is something that I have trouble saying about an ex-Arsenal player, but it is true. As well as having magnificent pace and touch - he is one of those players that I always respected.
And if he had gone up to the referee afterwards, and told him what had happened, then it would have been one of the greatest sporting gestures ever. It's not unprecedented - Paulo Di Canio turned down a scoring opportunity when the keeper was injured by catching the ball, and Arsene Whinger Wenger gave Sheffield United a replay after scoring a controversial goal.
I know it wouldn't have gone down well with the French public - but in a years time, after the World Cup (that the French surely won't win anyway after those performances) I wonder if Henry might look back and think he could have done it differently.

Instead of him having "a great career, but remember when..." he might have had a "great career, and remember when....".

A Frenchman, the Bloggerment and a Nasty Little Bugger

I've spent most of my time trying (and failing) to sort out a virus on the main home PC.
"Virus eh?" you're thinking.
"Three guesses what sites he's been visiting."
And to be honest, I might as well have been - but I contracted my virus in the saddest way possible - it's actually quite embarassing.
There I was, thinking I hadn't played "Football Manager" for a while, and realised I had un-installed it from my laptop - so I re-installed it. After installation, it asked me for the "key" - which was on the back of the booklet. Could I find the booklet? No. So I went online, to see if I could get one.
I found a site which said it would generate a key - so I went to it, and lo and behold, my PC is now KAPUT. And five minutes later my wife said, "Is this the booklet you were looking for?"....

The virus is a nasty one, as originally it won't let me system restore, or go online - but now I can't even log on, I get a "blue screen of death" whatever I do.
(and it's amazing how many times you go online to find a solution - and they tell you to "download this" - which is a real help when you can't even log on!!").
So it looks like I'll have to re-install windows from the start.


I have played a little poker - just a few games of heads up. I've played ten in all - won six and lost four. My last three games were against a French guy - I beat him up in the first game, it was simples, so when he wanted a re-match I couldn't click "yes" any faster. I then went on to lose the next two - despite having him all-in and behind on four seperate occasions.

I also played the Bloggerment. It started off well, and at one stage with around nine left I was chip leader. But then I spewed a few chips - twice flat calling with the hammer, and missing completely (maybe I should have shoved!!) and found myself shortish. I lost a flip when I went out in 7th - KQ v 66 (I think) - the flop came 10-J-x, so I had a gazillion outs, but missed them all. Although can't complain, I won a couple of flips earlier.
I normally love the Bloggerment, but the virus had just occured about an hour before, so I played it in a thoroughly pissed off mood (so apologies to anyone who was playing if I wasn't particularly chatty - normality next week).
"Dreams of Vegas" from the RTR forum who won the flip that put me out, used the chips well and went on to win.

A hand where I thought WTF???!!!

A tiny bit of history here. I'd been at the table for 14 hands.
The guy who pushed pre-flop had already been all-in pre-flop around six times already (one of those all-in monkeys who are seen less and less nowadays) - so this wasn't a surprise.
However, the guy behind me who called with 24s....
In his 14 hands, he had folded 14 times.
If it wasn't a mis-click, I don't know what the fuck it was.

Ace Ace v The Hammer

The ultimate showdown!!
And it happened to me today...

Who would win?

The best hand in poker?
Or the most magical hand in poker?



And don't forget the Bloggerment on sunday! Where "the hammer" will be played with all it's force!

Stacking the Ne'er-do-wells Part IV (and WSOP update)

Love this call on the river!



And a serious look at the WSOP -

Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Cada played heads up with the Moon
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the dish ran away with the spoon

The Bloggerment

It's back! Tell your friends! Tell your mums! Tell your kids! Tell your shrinks! Tell your pets! Tell your cousins! Tell your next door neighbours! Tell your postman! Tell that geezer who lives around the corner with the dodgy perm!

What is the Bloggerment?
It was a tournament set up by bloggers, for bloggers - so if you've never played, give it a go this sunday.

Starts again sunday 15th November 9pm.
$5 bounty on my head.

Poker Chat with the Devil

Cloud : Hello sir. Looking a little red I must say.
Devil : Yeah, it's hot down there, though the fake tan doesn't help - glad to pop up here for a bit.
Cloud : So, you been playing much poker?
Devil : Yeah. So easy though. Last week I made around $12 million.
Cloud : Jesus!!
Devil : Wish you wouldn't say that name.
Cloud : Sorry. How d'you make that much?
Devil : I just cheat. I know all the cards my opponents are holding. I sit at a table, and then get my little goblins to go to all the villains houses and let me know what they're holding.
Cloud : I was speaking to God last week, and he plays it above board.
Devil : He would.
Cloud : You ever played against me?
Devil : Yeah I played against you all last week.
Cloud : So that's why I lost all that money!! So you're telling me a goblin was sitting behind me all last week?
Devil : Yep.
Cloud : I did feel a strange presence. I felt that someone was there watching everything I was doing - just thought it was the wife.
Devil : You can come and join me if you like. You'll make at least a million a week.
Cloud : What will it cost me?
Devil : Your soul, your conscience and your heart.
Cloud : Sounds fair enough - it's a deal.
Devil : And you'll have to stop watching Kylie vids on youtube.
Cloud : Sorry?
Devil : In hell, we keep all the fit women for the top brass - me and the chaps have already claimed Kylie. In fact we've got pretty much all of the FHM top 100 women.
Cloud : So who can I have?
Devil : June Brown.
Cloud : Dot from Eastenders?
Devil : Yep.
Cloud : I s'pose after a few pints....
Devil : Well pop down tonight, I'm having a barbecue - take a look around.
Cloud : I'm not the barbecue am I?
Devil : No, poker bloggers are alright - apart from the hand history ones - man they're boring. I'm burning all people who blog about world of warcraft today - black denim and beards go particularly well on the spit. Though those bloody dice get everywhere....
Cloud : Think I'll pass on your offer today Mr Devil. Don't really wanna commit myself just yet.
Devil : No probs. I'll probably get you eventually anyway.
Cloud : And by the way, last time I spoke to God, he asked me to ask you about a game of heads up.
Devil : What's at stake?
Cloud : Cliff Richard.
Devil : No, tell him to fuck off. He can keep him.
Cloud : One last question.
Devil : Fire away.
Cloud : 2012 - is it the end of the world.
Devil : No, it's the London Olympics. Stupid.
Cloud : Seeya!
Devil : Byeeeee!