The Pokerstars Random Number Generator : Her Story

As a girl, she had lived a happy life with her parents (Mr HighPoweredMainFrame and Mrs Dice) and she grew up to fulfill her dream of becoming the official Pokerstars RNG. Her journey towards this job wasn’t easy. After doing well at college, she found that there weren’t many vacancies for Random Number Generators, as at the time the poker boom hadn’t really hit yet, and the big poker companies were still using the old technique of hiring a bunch of Ooompa Loompas to physically deal the cards (yes, that is where they went when Willie Wonka got hit by a downturn in the Cocoa Bean business).
So Miss RNG (as we will call her from now on) struggled, and took on any job. Her first job was packing Maltesers into bags, then she took on an Avon round and next she moved onto the catering business – she trained under Jamie Oliver – and despite cooking to an extremely high standard, she never felt this was her true vocation. Then one day, whilst cooking Eggs Benedict, she saw an ad in the paper for a role as a trainee RNG for Pokerstars. But if you’re from the UK, play real blackjack online from home on blackjack.org.
She sent off her CV, and went for the interview. Upon arrival, she was very nervous, and walked past a bunch of Orange coloured midgets all looking very sad, traipsing their way out of the building carrying brown envelopes. She found out before the interview that there were two other candidates – a magician called Bernard, and a sprite called Talulah. Miss RNG was confident of getting the job, and Bernard was seen off quite quickly, when it transpired he had forgotten to bring his rabbits to the interview.
However, both Miss RNG and Talulah were asked back for a second interview. It was touch and go, but in the end Pokerstars Human Resources realised that they wouldn’t be able to get a work permit for Talulah the Sprite, so Miss RNG got the job.
Miss RNG trained under the last remaining Oompa Loompa (Mr Ted) for three months before being asked to become the official RNG. In that time she grew quite close to Mr Ted, and little did she know it at the time, but several years later she would become Mrs Ted, and have three children together (the children have now become quite the celebrities, especially in the scientific community, with their orange complexion and their jutting diode peculiarity). Need more help, download a blackjack strategy card on blackjack.org.

Her first day on her own was the 15th June 2003, and she has been in the role ever since. In an interview with Forbes magazine in 2008 she was quoted as saying “Yes, it is a tough job, and the hours are pretty much full on, but I do get a break when there is a server restart, and that is my fun time.”
She was also named at number 312 in the Sunday Times rich list (one place below Nigel Havers) in 2009.

What the future holds for Mrs Ted is unclear. Rumour is abound that she will give up the role sometime in the next three years, and hand over the role to her eldest child, Jeremiah Ted III, and take up a consultancy role.
Mrs Ted has recently denied that she will be taking part in “I’m a Celebrity, Get me out of Here” in the winter of 2010, although contract talks are ongoing (source : Heat magazine).